Race and Evolution
I wrote a piece today about DirecTV’s alleged deal with Major League Baseball for exclusive rights, and in my usual, low-key subtle way, I suggested that both companies were run by monkeys.
A friend, reading this, suggested some might take this as being racist — in light of comments made by the late Howard Cosell a couple of decades back, I think, about Lionel Manuel (correction, actually, Alvin Garrett — d’oh), a small, African-American wide out.
And while it was the fashion for a long time for white people to claim that black people — or anyone they wanted to exploit, for that matter — were really "less evolved" than white people, and really more like monkeys than people. This justified all kinds of neato things such a slavery, and well, pretty everything that happened in the Belgian Congo at the end of the 19th century (look in the dictionary under "horrific" for details).
But let’s be honest, and I’m not really specifically talking about the chimp, uhm, decider in chief (who is clearly so devolved that one-celled animals won’t return his calls), but the more common, MBA-holding, Hummer-driving, white male. Monkeys. Sure, they look like humans, with their expensive suits and $200 haircuts, but inside there, in the brain pan: all monkey. Like their cousins in the wild, they eat all the bananas today (and throw the rest around like toys) and don’t worry about tomorrow.
Hence, why the non-monkey portion of the economy is struggling and once-solid companies are in the tank.
Eventually, the rest of us will figure out how to lure all the monkeys (see, George, and you were worried you’d have nothing to do after 2008) to the island from "Lost" with kegs of Miller Lite (beer for monkeys), Hummers and the chick from the Vonage commercial who wants to go swimming with the "dolphins."